I’m a lucky metal head. I live in a city where hundreds of amazing bands stop by every single year, and I have a great group of friends that I accompany nearly every time I go to a show.
But it wasn’t always like that for me. I often went to shows either alone, or skipped them altogether if I couldn’t find anyone to go with. I’ve come to regret the latter a few times in my life.
My Bad Luck With Skipping Shows
One of my favourite bands growing up was The Cranberries. I was still too young to attend most of their shows in my city when they were touring for their big records like No Need to Argue and To The Faithful Departed.
So when they finally announced a show in 2012, I was stoked! But I skipped it because no one wanted to come with me. It would take another 5 years for them to announce a return, only for that show to end up getting cancelled. Then in 2018, their lead singer, Dolores O’riordan, passed away and I never got the chance to see them live and hear them perform so many of the songs that meant the world to me.
You think I learned my lesson? If you did, you’re grossly underestimating my stupidity.
Motörhead hit my city in September 2015. When that show was announced, I had a gut feeling that I really, really shouldn’t skip it. I had never seen Motörhead live, and yet, I thought “I’m sure they’ll be back. Lemmy is god, and gods don’t die. I’ll check them out next time when I have someone to go with.”
Lemmy passed away a few months later in December 2015.
So, yeah, when you skip a show, you never know if it’ll be that band or artist’s last time in your town. But that’s just one of many reasons you should consider going to shows, even if you have to do it alone.
The Experience is Entirely Your Own
I recently went to see Slaughter to Prevail, and it was one of those rare occurrences where everyone from the group chat made it out of the chat and into the venue for a real-life hang at a show.
We were a group of about 12 people. But the venue was packed, so we were never all together at the same time until after the show. And trust me, we tried. But it was chaotic.
Needless to say, it’s completely different when you’re solo. When you walk into a venue, the experience is entirely yours to mold. Want to jump in the pit or sit in the back? Grab some seats? Skip a band or two (don’t, though)? Try to chat and meet new people, or just enjoy the time to yourself? You can decide how you want the night to go.
And when the band hits the stage, the focus is entirely on the experience. No distractions. Absorb the music and have your ear drums pummeled by the riffs of whichever band you’re seeing that night.
Going Alone is Cathartic
On a personal note, I’ve found that going to shows alone leads to more meaningful memories, because the experience becomes less about everything and everyone around you and more about the music itself. The setlist sticks in your head a little more. The moments and banter between songs are things you’ll recall for years. The lights, the stage design, that random crowd surfer that nearly kicked you in the head – you remember it all.
I’d also argue going solo can be cathartic. Years ago, I travelled out of town on my own to see Chelsea Wolfe. Hopped on a train, stayed at a hotel, explored the city and went to the show with no company other than my own.
Sure, that sounds a little lonely, but I hadn’t actually felt that good in a long time. I was dealing with some personal shit in my life, and the way I felt listening to Chelsea’s songs about growth and healing was nothing short of therapeutic.
Some Quick Things to Remember
Yeah yeah, I know it’s not “cool” to tell you to be careful, but at my age, I’ve done enough stupid shit and hurt myself at a few shows to know a little better. So allow me to offer you some advice if you’re going to shows solo.
This first one isn’t exclusive to solo shows, but always wear ear plugs. Listen, I want to be going to shows until I physically cannot anymore (which I’m hoping is not until I’m like…. 80 years old). That means protecting my hearing. You should too.
Keep your phone charged. That way, in the event you need to reach someone for an emergency, you’re covered. Take some photos and videos for your own memories, just don’t be that person that spends the entire set watching through your screen. That shit is annoying.
Have a plan to get home if you’re intending to partake in drugs or alcohol. I certainly can’t blame anyone for wanting to have a good time, but be smart about it. Grab an Uber, take public transit, whatever. Just don’t injure yourself or others.
Seriously, Just Go
So, yeah, that’s pretty much the takeaway here. And I know I’m not offering any sort of groundbreaking advice here. I just really do believe that life is too short, and that the best experiences you can have are the ones you create for yourself. Go to that show alone and I can almost guarantee you won’t regret it.
Dom Goes to Shows 